In Search of Adventure

I've spent a week essentially away from the internet, and it has been pretty much awesome. Yeah, I've still been connected to email, but not much more than deleting spam and saving messages for response (which I've taken some time today to attend to). I've been connected for work purposes as well, but all the various random stuff I follow I was so behind on that I really didn't even try to catch up on it. So if you're someone who is waiting to hear from me -- just drop me another message, because I'm somewhat back in the saddle again. With snow falling pretty steady all day here, it's a good opportunity to catch up. With all that's been going on, I'll probably get about a week's worth of blog posts out of it too. So here goes.

Saturday, January 23rd

I'd actually been getting a little surly and irritable, which may come as a surprise to those of you only familiar with my usual sunny fuckin' disposition. So just as a chance to get out of the house for a day, I volunteered to drive Julia and our friend Geneva up to Bigfork for a bellydance gig they'd been invited to do by their other friend and dance partner, Sonja. Bigfork is roughly two hours north of Missoula, on the NE shoulder of Flathead Lake. I love Flathead Lake. In fact, this classic picture of yours truly, in which I look far cooler than I actually am, was taken a couple summers ago in Polson, on the south end of the lake, while I was cooling my heels waiting for Julia to complete a bellydance rehearsal with Sonja.

Since that picture was taken, I think most of my remaining coolness has disappeared. As has my neck, apparently, given a couple recent photographs I've seen of myself. I won't be sharing those here.

Anyway, the weather that Saturday was supposed to suck, and that was part of my reason for wanting to drive. I'd rather be behind the wheel in shitty weather than waiting at home for one of my loved-ones to get out of it, you know? So we cruised up there. Just outside Bigfork we stopped at a little market. My inner tour manager knew Julia hadn't eaten anything, so I suggested she put a little lunch together. Only in Montana can I imagine the owners deciding the restroom would be a cool place to mount a set of antlers and a skull.

From there we drove into the main part of Bigfork and found the restaurant/venue where they would be dancing. I guess we got up there about 3 PM. This was the sign out front, which totally cracked me up.

Bellidancing [sic]? Phychic [sic] Readings? Nice proofreading there. What is particularly awesome is it would appear the poster is a holdover from the previous year (I guess this is an annual event), because the date has been changed by placing a piece of paper over the old one with the new date indicated. I normally hate spelling and grammar errors on signs, but somehow this made it perfect. And yes, that is "Mideastern" food, so as not to be mistaken for "Midwestern" food. Maybe the term "Mideast" is acceptable for referring to the Middle East, but it seems wrong to me. Therefore it is.

I helped them get in, helped them figure out how the stereo system in the venue worked for playing their music, etc., then took off. My plan was to find a place to hang out with my laptop and get some writing done, but Bigfork was closed up tight. Meanwhile, Geneva had asked if I would go down the street and fill up an empty growler for her, which I, being the old school Man of Chivalry that I am, happily agreed to do. Mainly because at that moment I decided I wanted one for myself. I rolled down to Flathead Lake Brewing Company, only to discover they were closed for remodeling. Luckily there was a guy there who, when queried, directed me to the town of Lakeside to get my booze. I decided to take his advice, even though, instead of fitting the Burly Man of Montana archetype (i.e. clad head-to-toe in Carhart, flannel and denim), he was wearing some kind of dorky gray track suit.

It wasn't a long drive, maybe twenty miles or so, and I enjoyed it. That end of the Flathead is rustic, and feels wild. Kalispell is there, of course, but it is surrounded by wilderness. Whitefish and Glacier National Park are just north, the Bob Marshall Wilderness is just beyond the Swans, and the bite in the air made it feel more, I don't know, arctic. I was in that frame of mind on account of just having started re-reading The Call of the Wild, so I pretended the Subaru was a team of dogs that I was mushing through the wilderness in search of medicine for the children.

Medicine indeed. I told Julia not to get too tired, because I was going to make her drive home so Geneva and I could get loaded on the way home.*

In Somers I stopped and took a picture of the lake, looking south, and zoomed in on some ice fishermen.

Just getting out and doing some different stuff was already working toward improving my mood. I found Tamarack Brewing Company in Lakeside, and sealed the deal on a couple growlers. In fact, as I write this blog I have finally cracked into mine, and am enjoying a frosty beverage out of the cheesy tourist trap tumbler I got at a gas station in Deadwood, SD, when I was out there for work a couple winters ago. Mmm, delicious. I hope Geneva enjoyed hers as much as I'm enjoying mine!

From there I headed into Kalispell, had something to eat, and then went book shopping at the local Borders. Anymore my book shopping amounts to taking pictures of books I want to get, which I add to a list that I will probably never get everything checked off of, but nonetheless refer to when I need something ordered. I'll probably follow up with this one; I go on travel writing binges sometimes, and this guy is a lot of fun to read.

By then it was closing in on 8:30 or so, so I headed back to where Julia & Co were dancing. I found a parking lot right outside the restaurant and read by streetlight for a while, even though it started getting a little chilly. I could hear the music from inside, and every now and then I could see them dancing up in the windows. This is a shitty cell phone pic, because what is a blog post without one of those, right?

By this point I was no longer a musher out on the tundra, but a Private Dick on stakeout, watching people pass by in the dark who had no clue I was watching them, hearing what they were talking about, seeing them dig their clothes out of their asscracks, etc. That was fun for a while, but then I figured it was about time to roll on inside.

The place was decked out pretty cool, with nice lights and low tables. A lot of people were dressed in costumes, which was cool . . . and weird. There was something mildly odd and disturbing about a bunch of middle-aged and older white people dressed up as Arabs. Especially considering how most Americans seem to feel about people from that part of the world these days. I don't know. I got to see some dancing, though, which is always great. The lighting wasn't conducive to the camera I had, and I didn't want to interfere, so most of the pictures I took suck. But here are Geneva and Julia dancing.

Honestly, I could watch them for hours. It is really weird to me how when I go to these events I am usually the only husband/boyfriend/whatever in attendance. I find it so artistic and sexy, and I dig it. Maybe because I appreciate how hard they work to do what they do. In this case, they literally did dance for hours. They were there from 3 PM until about 10:30 PM, with the serious business getting started around 5:30 or so. That's a lot of dancing, and they were worn out.

The drive home was pretty bad weather-wise. I was glad I chose to drive. It was beautiful too, with snow and ice crystals glistening in the headlights and on the highway. In clear spots the moon was bouncing reflections off the lake, which was beautiful. Both Julia and Geneva were nodding in and out of sleep, and would periodically ask if I was okay. I was -- I was enjoying myself. When I am awake and full of energy, I actually like driving late into the night while others sleep in the car, especially when it's people I care about.

We didn't get home until about 1:30 AM, I guess. It was a long day, but one I was glad to have participated in.

But Wait!

That was just the beginning of what would turn into pretty much seven straight days of magnificence! Coming up next: Our hero travels to San Francisco! He sees a mighty falcon masquerading as a chicken! He meets in person the greatest music blogger and Metal fan ever, the legendary Umlaut! And, finally, Scott "Wino" Weinrich says, "What the fuck are you doing here?!"

And yeah, that is totally my hand in the foreground directing a finger Wino-ward. I was trying to point out a salsa stain on his t-shirt.**

* I was only kidding, of course.
** Ah, you got me, I was kidding again! About the salsa stain, that is. That totally is my finger, only I was pointing out Wino's awesomeness

"La Ola es Mía, or: THE WAVE IS MINE" By Matt F'n Wallace

I just read a piece by Matt Wallace, writer and man never shy about dropping the "f" bomb, that I think is a must read for anyone trying to make their way as a creative person, or really even just interested in living a life of sticking it to The Man. Dig it here. I love this last paragraph, because Matt is summing up something that I agree with 100%:

Look, at base I just want to write my little stories and get them out to as many people as possible and live my life and maybe be able to buy myself something pretty every once and while. I’m not the guy who is going to affect major change doing that. You might be, though. Whether it’s making policy, making music, making movies, writing books/columns/articles, if you can get past the idea the people in charge know so much more than you do and by proxy have the right to keep you out, you just might be a natural born world-shaker.

And he didn't even say "at the end of the day." Thank god for that. Go, read it. Click the link and open it in a new tab, then come back.

Think about the people you know. How many of them are truly "free" and don't allow themselves to be held to whatever restrictions their particular pursuit is supposed to be bound by? Probably not many. Doesn't matter if it is in art, or just day-to-day living.

Sucking up.

Rolling over.

Surrendering.

Compromising.

We aren't all just drinking the kool-aid, we are hooked up to it by IV. And it's all essentially the same shit, even, if not especially, when it comes to politics. Meanwhile the only thing all those decision makers are successfully pulling off is the inexorable grinding of our necks into the muck.

The problem is those asshats in charge are a large part of the voice that speaks as our inner-censor, telling us that we shouldn't do this, shouldn't do that. This story will never sell. Being a band on tour is a waste of your life. Don't dress like this. Etc. It takes courage to buck those trends. I admire people who just put their heads down and plow forward. They inspire me.

I Ain't Superficial, Black Cat Cross My Trail

I keep coming back to this theme about computers, and my general loathing for them. It's not just computers, it's the whole techie, gadget thing that I seem to have missed the gene for, or I'm not as highly evolved, or something. The latest thing I've been seeing more and more of that I don't really get is all the stuff about "phone apps." Okay, I understand that these are applications that run on your phone, and I'm guessing that this is maybe an iPhone thing since that is what I see most referenced . . . but what is the point? I'm not passing judgment, I literally don't know. If the internet is supposed to be the Greatest Thing Ever, and your phone already can surf the internet . . . then what is the app for? Are they games, or what?

I see all these websites offering these things. If I go, for example, to Texts From Last Night online, what am I not getting there that I would get with their App? Even comic book sites are getting in the action. I suspect some of those are maybe applications to allow you to read the comics on your phone, but I still don't really get it (nor can I imagine reading on so small of a screen). I seriously need someone who is an avid user of these things to enlighten me. Is this just a fad I can look forward to seeing go away?

I don't use my phone for much. I even avoid talking on it, so I use it for texting mostly. Hell, I'll even text Sid from the basement if I need to ask him a question and I'm downstairs and he's upstairs in his room. From where I am right now, it's about six feet on the other side of the wall to where he is in his room, but often with headphones on he won't hear me holler at him, so I text him. That's actually halfway handy. We've eliminated the landline; we all just have our own cell phones. That has seriously cut down on the number of annoying phone solicitations. So it's not like I have a real problem with cell phones (unless you're talking or texting on one and being an asshole while you drive).

I've had a Blackberry for a couple months now, but I'm thinking of exchanging it back for a regular cell phone. Not because it isn't handy to get my email on it, I just don't use it so much that it justifies the extra expense. I almost never respond to emails with it, I'll just cull the bullshit spam and junk that I get so that when I actually sit down at my computer there is less to deal with. Nor do I use it for work. There have been times I've gotten important messages earlier than I otherwise would have, but the hour or so I saved probably wasn't that big of a deal. So I don't know. I don't have so much that is important going on that I really need it. That may change, but for right now, it's excessive. I don't want to manufacture a need for something that really isn't there. But the phone as a mini-computer that plays music and has extra software and all that? I don't get it at all.

What About the Social Networking Stuff?

Here's another question. For those of you who use things like Twitter or Facebook, do you feel the relationships/interactions you have within those platforms are more superficial than "real world" versions? Are those applications keeping us indoors on our computers, or on our goddamn phones, rather than out dealing with people in a real, community-based interaction?

I'm on the fence. I use both the sites I mentioned quite a bit. Sometimes more than I'd like to. There are pros and cons. They can be time sinks for sure. But there are also real upsides. For me, from a networking perspective they are invaluable. I've "met" a pretty tight little community of people like me striving to become published authors, and that interaction, none of which has been face-to-face, is as real and important to me as if it had been. It was like that when I was actively promoting my rock band via an online presence. I know it has worked for others as well -- I have certainly purchased books, music, and artwork that I never would have heard about if not for this medium. It has also enabled me to meet some very interesting people, some of whom I've been lucky to meet in person. On a limited budget, the books and music and other assorted cool things that I spend my money on will go for buying the works of people I've come to know through this medium, so in that respect it has been beneficial for those people as well.

My real world social life is pretty sparse. Working from home, I really don't interact face-to-face with people beyond my immediate family and the people working at the corner market. I see the guys in my band once a week, and don't even talk to them much beyond those 2 - 3 hours of Rock Time. And Rock Time ain't no time for talking, even if we wanted to.

I almost never speak to my co-workers since they are 2000 miles away. So the "water cooler" in my office is pretty much my Twitter feed. Writing that, it really sounds pathetic, but I'm not whining -- that's just how it is. When it comes down to it, I think my online "persona" is significantly less superficial than the person my co-workers do know. I'm much more open online with this blog, the comments I make on other sites, twitter posts, etc. than I am with any of those people. So I'm just curious what other people think about how they use these friggin' things.

Sometimes You Realize They Already Left the Nest, Even When They Are Still Squatting There

I was doing some cleaning and straightening in my office today and came across some papers I'd saved from the Lazerwolfs tour we did back in the summer of 2008. That was the one where our drummer flaked out (i.e. had to go to jail) at the last minute and we drafted Sid (my son, for those of you reading who are new to this blog) to play drums for us. He had just turned fifteen at the time. It wasn't the longest tour -- just a week out to Ohio and back -- but it was hot and sweaty and, at times, awesome. The papers I found were these little drawings he did on our set lists, caricatures of the three of us. Looking at them I got a serious lump in my throat; I can't imagine what it's going to be like to look at them in two, five, ten years. Hell, just looking at this photo group from the late, great Lazerwolfs flickr page makes me verklempt. I'm realizing this weekend that that summer, which also included a trip to Seattle to see Iron Maiden, and that week we spent together on tour, was probably about the last time I was still cool in his eyes.

At that time he had just started playing drums in a metal band of his own, and had bailed on the family band we had been playing in (Tater Pig, which was a three-piece that also included my wife/Sid's step-mom, Julia) together. I knew all along that that day would ultimately come, but it still kind of bummed me out when he outgrew us. But not that much. We had some good times, played a couple good shows, and he solidified his love for playing music. It was a great experience for all of us.

Sid and I have always been close, and we have maintained a great relationship. We have our issues from time to time, but nothing like the horror stories you hear about the relationships kids have had with their parents. Maybe it's because I've always gotten along with my folks, I don't know . . . we just haven't ever really butted heads. He's done things I wish he hadn't, and made choices I'd preferred he hadn't which have caused me to have to be The Dad, but, for the most part, it has been very smooth sailing. I don't think I can over-emphasize how thankful I am for that.

As a child he was similar to me in the things that interested him. He got into comic books, action figures, all that stuff. It allowed me a second childhood of sorts in a lot of ways, sharing these things with him that had been such a large part of my youth. We got excited about the same things; I remember standing in line in the snow and bitter cold to get into the first showing on the day The Fellowship of the Ring opened. He used to have this toy Godzilla thing that would roar when you pressed a button that I used to use as his alarm clock; I'd hold it over his bed making it roar until he quit faking he was still asleep. When he saw the movie and Godzilla died at the end (the horrible remake that Matthew Broderick was in), he cried, much like I had bawled when I was little and King Kong died.

poor little fella has the chicken pox in this picture

As recently as just a couple years ago he still liked to spend a lot of time with me. We'd hit the movies that came out that seemed awesome, we'd have fairly regular "Dad & Boy" days where we'd go eat or something, just the two of us, and do whatever. As he's become more independent, those events have gotten fewer and farther between. This isn't really a lament for that, even though it represents a kind of heartache I know all parents experience, because it is to be expected. So I deal with it. We still have time together where we talk about things we share interests in; mostly music these days, but he goes on pretty incessantly about this or that video game, because he knows at some level I'm pretty interested, even if I don't play.

As the end of his high school career approaches over the next 12 - 18 months, I worry. He is in love with music the same way I was at his age, with similar goals. Sometimes I wish I'd hidden all my CDs and videos and personal music history away from him so his passions would flow in other directions, because music, for all that I have enjoyed with it, has been brutal as well. That's foolish of me, I know, because who am I to deny him access to whatever he thinks might be cool? And it may not have helped anyway. My parents certainly weren't the ones to introduce me to KISS back when I was a kid and learned through their music that the world was a lot more awesome than what our dinky little home town was showing me! So I really can't blame myself for that -- it was probably inevitable.

I hope Sid pursues some higher education as well, even a two-year trade school, but I'm not sure I'll be able to convince him the value of that. He is certain he doesn't want to do anything like what I do for a living, which is equal parts gratifying and depressing to me. What father wants their child to look on how they earn their money and think it is something they absolutely want no part of? "I'd rather die than do what Dad does!" I can't really blame him, though. If the role of the parent is to lead the way for their children by example, then in that respect I have failed in a lot of ways. I have totally sold out to The Man, and that literally keeps me up at night sometimes, because I so never wanted to allow myself to get in that position. I have totally compromised the dreams I had as a young man for how I wanted to make my living. So now, as a sore-limbed and cantankerous geezer of middle age, I'm fighting like hell to re-take that hill I surrendered as a man of 20-something.

I've been lucky, though. I've blundered into a better place in life than I probably deserve, given my mistakes, the choices I've made and the things I didn't do. I fear that he may not get as lucky as I did. It's a much different world he is about to enter than the one I did at his age. That keeps me up at night sometimes too.

I'm thinking about all this melodramatic bullshit tonight because of a conversation we had at dinner the other night. Julia and I had planned to go out to dinner, and Sid, since he couldn't find a friend to do anything with at that time, decided to go with us. The bulk of our dinner conversation revolved around one of the bands Sid is in, and how they have been invited to this festival in New Mexico in May, and what it will take for them to go. Allowing that to happen is probably a blog post in and of itself.

One of the guys in the band is thinking about going to school in LA in a year. Sid and his friend Dustin are talking about going there too, to "keep the band together." We talked about the LA scene, what it's like, etc. In the back of mind I was wanting to urge him to think about the simple notion of giving up opportunities in his own life, potentially, to follow some other guy around who is devoting energy to school rather than the band. I'm not anti-school, I just want Sid to think about that. Why can't he do both too? It's not like he can even consistently play clubs until he's 21 anyway. But that's beside the point. We were mainly just talking about LA and what it's like. Sid still listens to Julia and me, thankfully, to a degree. I've maybe played more shows over the years than she has, just because I've been doing it longer, but when it comes to being on the road and playing the bigger cities, she has done more. So he at least listens to what we have to say, even as I can see the wheels turning.

It was time to go. We stopped and waited while Julia visited the restroom. Sid and I were standing in the lobby, and I was talking about LA. I said, "Yeah, people say LA sucks, and it probably does, but I've enjoyed myself every time I've been there. We should visit there some time here so you can check it out."

"What do you mean?" he said.

"I don't know. Maybe take a road trip down there or something so you can see it. It would be fun."

"Yeah," he said. "Except I don't want to go with you. I want to go with my band."

I nodded, Julia rejoined us, and we all walked out of there. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to crawl off somewhere and sulk myself into oblivion. Oh, the poor, spurned parent! It's silly, I know, but it was definitely one of those moments. We've got a road to go yet together, Sid and me, and Julia too, but in so many ways he's already gone. People always say the time passes too quick with kids, and damn if they aren't right.

Keep Your Excitement in Check, Please

Comic Book Movie News You Can't Live Without!

Iron Man 2 is coming this summer, supposedly on May 7th. If it lives up to the first one, which I re-watched recently, it should be a great, fun movie.

I never really liked Iron Man the character all that much, because Tony Stark is kind of a dick. The movie didn't shy away from that, which made it cool. It's still good to see him get put in his place now and then, though.

The above image is by one of my favorite artists, by the way: Amanda Conner.

The Mighty Asgardian

For those who care (and everybody should), principal photography started this week on the THOR movie. It comes out on May 6th of 2011. Other news from the article:

In addition to THOR, Marvel Studios is also scheduled to release a slate of films based on the Marvel characters including IRON MAN 2 on May 7, 2010, THE FIRST AVENGER: CAPTAIN AMERICA on July 22, 2011, and THE AVENGERS on May 4, 2012.

The Man, The Legend

I know when you read that you thought the same thing I did. "What the hell is going on then with the movie to end all movies, Captain friggin' America?!" Well, I also found out this week that filming for the Captain America movie is supposed to start in June of 2010. Even though they still haven't found, or announced at least, the guy who is going to play Cap. So it's more waiting game. I'm nothing if not patient, though.

People far more creative than me have spent their waiting time designing "fan" movie posters. Some are cooler than others. And some are really great. I think this one is a fine piece of work:

Since the movie is apparently going to be an origin story, with the bulk of it taking place during WWII, the opportunities for it to be suitably gritty are high -- which I think it needs to be. Cap wasn't so much a "lone wolf" kind of guy, he was a leader on the battlefield. This is a cool shot here that captures that sentiment:

This is another one that I think is pretty great, Captain America as a paratrooper:

Often when movies come out, the posters will be a series. Presumably the villain will be Cap's arch-nemesis, that dirty Nazi, The Red Skull. Here is an idea for a poster featuring him:

Finally, these next two are fantastic. The first was one of the first ones I saw. Unfortunately even clicking the image won't get you a much bigger version. The next is a spin on it someone did that does blow up bigger. This is Captain America with kind of a Saving Private Ryan theme. Awesome.

If Thor and Captain America kick all the ass they should, the AVENGERS movie will be mind blowing. I'm pretty excited about it all.

Who's Ready to Be Beat to a Pulp?

I spent a lot of time doing a couple short fiction workshops and a novel workshop as part of the 406 Writers Workshop here in Missoula last summer. It was pretty much a weekly meeting from June until about November, and I learned tons. I tweaked a story I wrote in one of those workshops, a little crime thing called "The Pickle," and submitted it to an online crime fiction publication called Beat to a Pulp. I found out yesterday they liked it and will be publishing it in March. I'm pretty damn excited about that.

There aren't many avenues for short fiction of the crime/pulp variety, and this is definitely one of the better ones. Some great writers are published by BTAP -- many with published novels as well -- and I'm excited and honored to have my first bit of fiction in such excellent company. I was standing in Staples, looking at computers for work, pissed off (of course), when the news arrived via email over my phone. Made the whole day better. Soon as the story is up and available I'll certainly announce it here! Meanwhile, check out the Weekly Punch that comes out every Sunday. That's where my bit of silliness will appear.

This is actually helping me justify a trip I've been thinking of making next November -- NoirCon 2010 in Philadelphia.

I thought I'd like to go, but figured I needed something out in the wide world beyond this blog, so getting that story on BTAP is a step in that direction. I was torn between NoirCon or Bouchercon 2010, which is San Francisco. When I was in Houston, David Thompson, the man behind Busted Flush Press, urged me to go to NoirCon because it is more intimate. I'm really starting to lean that way. I think it would be a blast. No matter which one I do I'll miss out on meeting some people I'd really like to, there's just no way around that. If I could afford it, I'd do both. Maybe next year.

Rated "R" For Sequences of Epic Awesome!

Last Thursday night Julia and I went to The Wilma and saw the new John Woo flick, Red Cliff. We were lucky, because that was the last night it was showing. This movie blew me away, and I like it more the more I think about it. The cinematography was beautiful, the acting was great, there was humor, and it was epic. But it wasn't ass-numbingly epic either, in that it wasn't one of those 3-hour marathons. Here's the synopsis from Rotten Tomatoes:

After directing stylish action films such as THE KILLERS and FACE-OFF, director John Woo turns to Chinese history for inspiration with RED CLIFF. The Han Dynasty is facing its death in third century China, and the emperor raises a million-man army against two kingdoms that are hopelessly outmatched. This war film stars Tony Leung, the beloved actor best known for LUST, CAUTION and IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE.

Watching it was a real thrill. It was like three or four chapters of the book Badass rolled into one story and put to film. I don't buy many DVDs, but I'll buy this one. For the best 2:13 of your day, click over and dig this trailer (embedding is disabled, apparently).

What was really cool is on the way out of the theater, I asked the manager if I could snag the poster, and he said no problem. Yes.

He also confirmed that they will have The Road on screen at the end of the month. It's about time!

I'll Sure Be Glad When This Computer Fad Thing is Over

You would think that, because I make the bulk of my living in essentially a technical/computery capacity, that I would be one of those people that geeks out over the latest technology and gadgets and all that. Yeah, and you'd be freakin' wrong too. I hate computers with a passion, even as I am clattering away on one right now. As tools, they are okay -- I'm not a big fan of toilet plungers either, but they have their uses, you know? That's about where I rank computers in how much I love them. With plungers. I don't enjoy using one, but for some necessary tasks it's just the only way to get the goddamn job done.

The thing about plungers is they are simple. They don't get upgraded and "improved" every twenty minutes. They've been forcing shit down drainpipes the same way for who knows how long, and they actually work. For day to day jobs, they are more than adequate 99% of the time. And I've never had anyone call me and say, "I don't know how to use my plunger!"

Computers are the opposite. Every update and upgrade just piles on more problems for every little thing that gets fixed. And don't go giving me any of this "Well if you used a Mac you wouldn't have any problems!" bullshit either, because I use both PCs and Macs and they both aggravate me.

"Want to use software brand ABC? You don't have Mac OS version blah blah blah? Oh, sorry, you'll need to upgrade. And the new version doesn't work with any of your other shit, so you'll need to buy all of that stuff new too. Oh, and you didn't really need the 50,000 pictures you had stored that were lost in the upgrade, did you? Oh, sorry."

Sound familiar, Mac users? Yeah, you know it does.

Now I hear the Linux crowd coming too. You dorks just stay in your basements, okay? Don't get me started. If I wanted to learn a whole language just to run a program I'd learn Spanish and go disappear in the middle of Mexico and forget all about the fucking things.


Right now I'd like to disappear this laptop I'm working on. It has been giving me fits lately, and for everything I correct two other things pop up. For example, starting a couple days ago I lost the ability to upload anything if I am using Firefox. That means pictures in this blog, email attachments, etc. I can't even save a post in Blogger using Firefox. So in order to perform any of these simple processes, I have to switch over to Internet Explorer, which I find to be pretty much the ultimate piece of shit. Just loading it shows me this lovely little graphic:

This blog post is showing the ways in which doing the same task in one browser is different in another, and it is irritating me. For example, I'm learning that in IE I apparently can't cut and paste in this goddamn blogger window. WTF?! And the formatting? Horrible! What a nightmare. Stinkin' Microsoft. . . .

Oh, and either in IE or Firefox right now if I Google something, or even use Yahoo's search option, when I click a link some other program takes over and gives me a whole bunch of other links. I've run antivirus, checked for Malware and all that shit, defragged, et al and still it's flailing.

So yeah, I hate computers with a passion. And software. I swear, the older I get, the more my inner luddite wars with my inner misanthrope to dominate my personality. Today the luddite is winning.

Rock Time

We are going to do a little all ages show with AMERICAN FALCON at the Higgins Hall on Friday, February 5th. Sid's band is playing, and they asked if we wanted to play with them, so we said sure. Consider it a sneak preview. I don't know that those guys are really that eager to play with us, they are just eager to use our PA. I know what they're all about.

We have been trying to record some rough tracks of the new stuff we are working on at the last couple practices, but, you guessed it, the computer Jimmy is using keeps failing. Not that there is a place for computers in rock n' roll, in my opinion, but it was something convenient. Supposedly. All we are trying to do is get the stuff down so we can listen to it for purposes of having something to listen to for writing lyrics, evaluating arrangements, etc. Next week I'm going to bring my boombox or something. I followed that process back in the day to the tune of writing probably hundreds of songs. I'm sure it will still work.

Funny, my phone rang and I just went and grabbed it to check the voice mail. It was Jimmy. I shit you not, among other things, this is what he said:

"I think I got the computer fixed . . . again . . . but my confidence level is pretty low. I'll do some more testing."

I know you thought I was kidding! The things are tools of the devil, mark my words!

How Much Can One Man Take?

I was gonna blog other stuff, but I tell you . . . right now I think I've had my fill. This thing is just killing me.

P.S. Mac wins tonight. It took switching over to the Mac to get this thing together.

Sadly, All Good Things Must Come to an End